Christmas spending is often a big question mark for lots of people whether you are a consumer or a retailer. Christmas budgeting is a key part of family budgeting – whether during the holiday season or throughout the year. The good news is there are more options than in years past to get good deals and come up with creative ideas to keep everyone in the holiday spirit.

Holiday Budgeting and What Kids Need to Know
Holiday spending seems stressful enough – add to that trying to teach your kids about money, and it can be really stressful. But it doesn’t have to be.

This is a great time to reinforce money lessons you’ve been working on the rest of the year (or to start teaching them). At almost no other time will the list of stuff to buy be so long – or the need to stay on a budget as high. Use it to your advantage in helping your kids understand that money does run out and you can’t make more. Check out this page to get some ideas on how to manage through this process.

http://www.money-and-kids.com/Christmas-spending.html

I am always looking for articles to help get though my youngest daughters fits. She is special needs so she doesn’t understand a lot. But being consistent with her is the key. She has to have consistency in order to get through the day.

http://www.familyeducation.com/home/

Consequences must be consistent. You’re aiming for consequences that feel as natural and strong as physical laws, right? Gravity and inertia are nothing if not consistent—that’s why they’re laws of nature.

Consequences should be applied not based on your moods, biorhythms, or whether the Sox won the game. Time is consistent—if sometimes a minute lasted a minute, sometimes 30 seconds, and sometimes a random hour, it would make it hard to schedule anything. Clock companies would go out of business. People would wait in endless lines. Frustrations would mount, empires fall. I exaggerate, but the point is this: Calendars are reliable because we can consistently count on a minute lasting a minute. Consequences and discipline work best when they are consistent.

But consistency is more than consequences, and it’s larger than limits and rules. Consistency is a general parenting technique, and one of the main definitions of discipline. (Think about the religious disciplines—a big part of all of them is doing the same practices over time, consistently.) It’s not just for misbehavior. Consistency is part of the structure of your child’s life. It’s the reliability of a weekly schedule, a set bedtime, a ritual birthday breakfast, and traditional holidays. It almost doesn’t matter what the routine is—consistency gives your entire family something to rely on and lean against. If you promise a special treat, a consequence, a vacation, or special time together, then do it. Don’t promise it unless you’re going to deliver. Maintain that trust.

Inevitability, Not Severity

In some families, the most severe consequence ever handed down is, “That’s it, I’m not telling you a story before bed tonight.” That’s fine—it’s not the severity of the consequence that matters, it’s the fact that certain kinds of behavior are not acceptable, and if that behavior happens, that consequence will occur. Kids get the message, and learn from it, when consequences are inevitable for certain behaviors.

No Waffles at This Breakfast Table

Don’t set a rule, limit, or consequence unless you’re going to be consistent in enforcing it. Easier said than done, especially if:

• Your kids are as cute and manipulative as mine.
• Your own upbringing was either inconsistent or overly structured.

Kids Make Your Wees Go Kneak

Kids are physically designed to be cute so that we respond to them. The big heads and eyes of babies affect all human beings with the desire to care for them. (It’s the big head/eye thing that makes us love puppies, bunnies, and little lambs, too. We can’t help it!) Babies need adults to do things for them—they can’t walk, feed themselves, or pull down a living salary. Babies grow into kids, but it takes most kids a long time to grow out of their ability to charm. (Some people never do, and I’m sure you know one or two adults who bat big eyes, or give you that puppy dog stare and make you melt into submission.)

Because of the powers of children to make you get weak in the knees and grin uncontrollably, you have to be on your guard to maintain your consistency. Ignore the wheedling, the dewy sobs, the look like, “You’re killing me, Ma” when all you’re doing is enforcing a very sensible, explicit limit or consequence. Choose your position, and stick to it. Whining should make you firmer than ever.

http://life.familyeducation.com/parenting/family/45301.html

by Megan Devine, Parental Support Line Advisor

With a new school year starting, many parents find themselves gearing up for another round of bad attitudes and power struggles with their kids. Teens and pre-teens especially seem to have an “I don’t care,” or “Why bother?” attitude about school, homework and their other responsibilities, whether it be chores around the house or a part-time job. Do you find yourself asking your teen, “How will you ever make it in life if you don’t take these things seriously now?”

My friend “Erica” describes what happened with her teenage son last year: “Our 17-year-old has the worst attitude about school. He refuses to do any homework, says it’s stupid and ‘doesn’t have anything to do with the real world.’ He tells us that he doesn’t even need to go to school in order to get a good job – all he has to do is get ‘really good at video games’ because he believes he can get a high paying job ‘testing’ them without graduating from high school. When I tell him I don’t think this is going to happen, he rolls his eyes, looks at the ceiling, and lets out a big, over-dramatic sigh – in general behaving like I’m a naïve grown-up, with absolutely no understanding of what life is like today.”

Any attempt Erica has made to talk with him about school, getting a “regular” job, or even about concrete steps he might take to actually get one of those game testing jobs is met with the “adults don’t know anything” attitude. “He has such a sense of entitlement and a complete misunderstanding of reality. He has this idea that life is going to be so easy – no work, no schedules, no need to do anything he doesn’t want to. It drives me crazy to see him wasting his time like this, when he should be focusing on school so he can get into college and get a real job. His attitude is: ‘Why should I? I’m better than other people.’ How can I change his attitude and make him see reality?”

Does any of this sound familiar?

Parent Support Line specialists often hear from parents who feel frustrated at their teen’s lack of acceptance of responsibilities and their abundance of “bad attitude.” Whether it’s doing well in school or keeping a job, some kids just don’t seem to care about doing good work. Many teens have what James Lehman calls a “dreamer” mentality– they believe that an exciting, high paying job will simply land in their laps, and therefore getting good grades or taking a less-than-perfect job is seen as unnecessary.

The danger is that kids use that fantasy to justify their poor attitude around their responsibilities. When faced with their child’s entitlement, apathy, or lack of interest in work or school, parents get caught up in trying to make their children understand and accept the adult point of view. They try to get their kids to be “realistic” about their futures, and work hard so that they have the skills they need in life. I think parents also get frustrated at the lack of effort their kids show, and then worry about what kind of life their child is going to have if they don’t start taking life more seriously.

If you are in the thick of this kind of power struggle with your teen, you probably want him or her to listen to your speeches about the importance of hard work, and adopt a much better, more appreciative attitude. I have something to tell you: that is not going to happen. No matter how great, or how based in reality your argument is, you can’t force your child to think about the world the way that you do, and to adopt your experiences and your perspective. You can’t make them have a “better” attitude. Teens often have an apathetic or dismissive attitude about anything other than what they want to do. When you focus on trying to change your child’s attitude, you’re setting yourself up for frustration. As James Lehman says, “You can’t feel your way to better behavior, but you can behave your way to better feelings.” In order to feel effective and empowered in your role as a parent, you need to learn to ignore the apathetic, all-knowing attitude and focus on your child’s behavior. Let them know what is expected of them in your home, what your rules are, and what the consequence will be if they can’t figure out a way to comply with those rules and expectations.

For example, if your middle school child says, “I hate English! Why should I do my homework—this is stupid!” You can say,  “I know you think your English assignment is stupid. You don’t have to like it, but you do need to finish it. You know the rules – no access to any electronics until your homework is completed. So how can you help yourself get it done?”

Don’t make the mistake of trying to get your child to “want” to have good grades, or “want” to get a job. That’s not likely to happen, either. You aren’t going to transform your child’s attitude about the world, or their place in it. Rather, it’s your responsibility as a parent to help your child learn the skills they need to make their way in the world. Those skills are the same even if your child wants to do something you think is highly unlikely. You never know, maybe they will get a job as a video game tester, if that’s what they really want! Just don’t try to convince them that you are right and they are wrong. Don’t try to get them to stop resisting and start being “realistic.” Instead, focus on the behavior you would like to see change, and ignore the attitude. Focus on getting your teen to meet his responsibilities in the here and now—homework, chores, curfew. Once they leave your house, they are free to use the skills you’ve helped them learn—or not.

For my friend Erica, change came when she and her husband used the techniques from the Total Transformation Program and told their son, “You don’t have to like school, you don’t even need to agree with our version of reality, but you do need to comply with our rules while you’re living here. That means doing your homework, making decent grades, and getting a part-time job.” They also told their son that if he refused to comply with the house rules, he would experience consequences. To get things started, they told him he could not drive the family car until he’d filled out and dropped off three job applications. Within a month, he’d taken a job at a local fast food restaurant. Although he still insists that the adults don’t know anything, his parents feel much less helpless.

Remember, there’s a pay-out for focusing on your kid’s behavior and not his attitude: you’ll be teaching them one of the greatest lessons of all—how to be accountable in the real world.

Megan Devine is a Parental Support Line Specialist and writer. She holds a Master of Fine Arts degree from Goddard College. She has a children’s career book in pre-publication, and has several other books in the works.

In the small, damp confines of a bathroom, odors can quickly become overwhelming. But with just a few easy preventive measures, you can keep yours smelling fresh.

1. Let the air flow.

 Turn on the overhead fan, open a window, and leave the bathroom door open to make sure fresh air circulates, especially after a steamy shower. This will help freshen stale air and rid the room of humidity that could cause mildew to grow.

2. Treat towels well.

 Give them room to air out, so they don’t get that stale, musty smell. Don’t hang multiple damp towels together, and avoid hanging them from hooks on the backs of doors.

Try installing racks that are wide enough to spread towels out, so they can dry faster and more thoroughly.

3. Add a scent.

 Use air fresheners or odor neutralizers to eliminate bad odors and keep the air smelling pleasant. Glade® Sense & Spray™ Automatic Freshener is perfect for small spaces like the bathroom, because of its motion sensor technology. Place it near the entrance and it will automatically release a concentrated burst of fragrance when someone enters the room. And if one isn’t enough, you can hit the boost button anytime for an extra burst of freshness. Try Clear Springs™ to add a clean, refreshing scent, while simultaneously eliminating the bad ones.

4. Check for leaks.

 Water dripping on cabinets and floors can cause odors. Do a quick check under the sink and behind the toilet to make sure you don’t have leaky pipes that need repair.

5. Keep it clean.

 Lurking bathroom odors might be an indication that you need to increase the frequency of your cleanings, or at least to do a little extra maintenance in between cleaning days (especially when you have houseguests).

Your primary focus should probably be cleaning the toilet. Make this unpleasant task practically effortless with Scrubbing Bubbles® Toilet Cleaning Gel—just stamp a disc to the inside of your toilet to clean and freshen with every flush.

Also concentrate on airing out the shower, where constant dampness can trigger smelly mold and mildew. Finally, wipe down bottles, tubes and the counters they’re on, so sticky residues don’t contribute to odor problems.

6. Take out the trash.

 Make it a habit to empty bathroom wastebaskets frequently. Using plastic liners will make this task easier and keep the wastebasket clean.

7. Freshen your fabrics.

 In the moist environment of the bathroom, fabrics can get musty-smelling quickly. Launder towels and washcloths at least once a week. And don’t forget to also wash the bathmat and the shower curtain, especially if the curtain is made of fabric.

For towels that already have a lingering musty odor, try running them through a washer cycle first with a half-cup of white vinegar, then another cycle immediately afterwards with your favorite detergent. Use the hottest temperature settings for both the washing machine and the dryer, and make sure the towels are completely dry before you put them away.

8. Close the curtain.

 After you shower, pull the shower curtain (and liner) partially closed. This will let air circulate within the folds, allowing the curtain to dry faster. You’ll be less likely to see—and smell—patches of mildew forming. 

4. Check for leaks.

 Water dripping on cabinets and floors can cause odors. Do a quick check under the sink and behind the toilet to make sure you don’t have leaky pipes that need repair.

5. Keep it clean.

 Lurking bathroom odors might be an indication that you need to increase the frequency of your cleanings, or at least to do a little extra maintenance in between cleaning days (especially when you have houseguests).

Your primary focus should probably be cleaning the toilet. Make this unpleasant task practically effortless with Scrubbing Bubbles® Toilet Cleaning Gel—just stamp a disc to the inside of your toilet to clean and freshen with every flush.

Also concentrate on airing out the shower, where constant dampness can trigger smelly mold and mildew. Finally, wipe down bottles, tubes and the counters they’re on, so sticky residues don’t contribute to odor problems.

6. Take out the trash.

 Make it a habit to empty bathroom wastebaskets frequently. Using plastic liners will make this task easier and keep the wastebasket clean.

7. Freshen your fabrics.

 In the moist environment of the bathroom, fabrics can get musty-smelling quickly. Launder towels and washcloths at least once a week. And don’t forget to also wash the bathmat and the shower curtain, especially if the curtain is made of fabric.

For towels that already have a lingering musty odor, try running them through a washer cycle first with a half-cup of white vinegar, then another cycle immediately afterwards with your favorite detergent. Use the hottest temperature settings for both the washing machine and the dryer, and make sure the towels are completely dry before you put them away.

8. Close the curtain.

 After you shower, pull the shower curtain (and liner) partially closed. This will let air circulate within the folds, allowing the curtain to dry faster. You’ll be less likely to see—and smell—patches of mildew forming.

Get more great ideas at Right at Home